Hello, hello!! I’m sure most of you are super confused as to who I am and what I’m doing here. No, I have not been hacked. I am actually sitting at my computer typing away. Don’t worry, I’m just as confused as you are. Over the last eight months I have slowly drifted away from this here blog. My posts became less and less until they disappeared almost entirely. I was overwhelmed with a new job, wedding planning and running the esty shop. I couldn’t balance everything so I started to drop things in an effort to preserve what little sanity I had left.
I’ve always shared every detail of my life on this blog and it makes me sad that so many moments of the last year have gone by without being documented on here. Most importantly our wedding. All the emotions and moments leading up to that day were never put down to paper, or type as the case may be. Sure I can go back and write about them now, but there’s something special about it being documented as it happens. A part of me feels like I’ve robbed Ben of being able to look back on it in the years to come and getting to remember it and experience it again. Of course we’ll always have our memories and the amazing photos, but it’s just not the same.
Aside from our wedding, I don’t have the stress and excitement of those first few months at my new job. Making new friends and trying to find where I fit into the group. There’s so much I could share about my fears and anxiety surrounding those first few months and then finally finding my way only to have to start over again here in a few months. That’s right, we’re moving again. Ben was given a promotion at work that will move us to Pullman (about an hour and a half south-east of where we currently live). For those of you that don’t know, this is most definitely a smaller area than we live in now, but it’s also a college town which brings its own level of excitement.
We’ll be much closer to my brother, about 20-30 minutes away depending on the weather, which has me very excited. I also have made more friends there than I ever made in Spokane. The downfall is that we’re having to live these last few months apart. He already spends most of his time down there for work while I finish out the month of February at my current job, finish out our lease on our apartment and pack things up. I will be moving down there the end of February, middle of March. I have found a new job and am currently going through the long hiring process, a process that can take up to six months.
As someone who’s anxiety is strongest in situations where there is a large amount of unknown, you can imagine how hard this last month has been for me. I will be leaving one job before I have a definite start date at another. We could potentially go months with only one income. Luckily we have amazing friends and family who are willing to open their homes to us so that we don’t have to find an apartment right away and can wait until I have started my new job. I’m hoping that it will only be a few weeks between the two, but I keep reminding myself that we will be okay if it’s longer than that.
At the end of the day, I am blessed to have an amazing man to stumble through this next adventure with. Even when we’re miles apart and I am driving him crazy, I can see how hard he is working to give me the life he feels I deserve. A life that we are building together. There are times when I know he feels like he can’t win for loosing because I can’t figure out how I feel or what I want. I am irrational and get upset at the drop of a hat. In those moments, he reminds me that he loves me and we’ll figure it out. It is my hope that I will find the time to write more over the next few months. This blog has always been an outlet for me and I have found that it helps manage my anxiety when I have a way to express my thoughts and feelings, without judgement. Grab the popcorn and vodka because it’s going to be a bumpy ride y’all!