For once, I’m not looking forward to Saturday. I want to just skip right over the whole day. I’ve always thought Valentine’s day is a little over rated, but I’ve still enjoyed it because it normally meant an excuse to have a date night with my husband. For obvious reasons, I am absolutely dreading it this year.
How am I supposed to make it through a day where everyone is celebrating their spouses while I’m trying to deal with the fact that mine has left. Don’t get me wrong, I’m in a pretty good place as far as the whole dealing with divorce thing goes. I’m down to only having one, maybe two, bad days a week and most of those aren’t even full days. They are lonely nights or crappy afternoons. I’ve come to terms with not talking to him every day and have even gone as long as a week between text messages.
We’ve even done our first day of going to visit friends in “shifts”. I was supposed to go hang out with BB last Saturday but he mentioned that he was going over there to see the new baby in the morning so I made sure I waited until I knew he would be gone. Surprisingly it wasn’t as hard to do as I thought. I went shopping to keep myself busy.
Even with all of the growth that I’ve done over the last month I am beyond nervous to have to live through Saturday. Seriously. Just thinking about it makes my heart race and my stomach twist into knots. I’m sure you think I’m being a little dramatic but lets just say that while I’ve been very open about my divorce on this blog I have left details out. Someday I might open up about them, but not today.
So how do I plan on making it through the day you ask? By not only keeping myself busy, but keeping a pretty steady buzz thanks to vodka in my lemonade. I have plans to go hang out with BB and the kids. Maybe we’ll order a heart shaped pizza and watch movies. What movies? I have no idea but I’m thinking it should be something like Magic Mike or The Exorcist.