Happy Wednesday!! When I started coming up with topics or this series I knew that I wanted to have once poster talk about the battle of managing kids and your spouse. Ben and I are hoping to start a family soon and it’s something that sometimes worries me. I’ve had talks with Krysta, and seen her posts, about balancing her husband and her adorable daughter so I knew I wanted her to write this post. This beautiful lady is one of the first friends I made when I moved to Spokane and it’s so nice to have someone who shares a love for blogging in my everyday life.
Hi there! First off, I want to thank Kelly for giving me the opportunity to come and share with you all today. She is such a wonderful person and blogger and my life is better with her in it 🙂
Today I want to talk to you a bit about balancing the tension between husband and kids. My husband and I have been together almost 5 years and we have one toddler love in our lives. She is very much in a “daddy’s girl” stage right now and is testing boundaries left and right. With this current stage, often it can be easy to slip into the routine of focusing on her to correct and teach, rather than the love and affection and care of my husband.
This is a tension that is very real for a lot of moms/wives to manage. We often desire to “have it all” and struggle to make it all work. This can cause massive amounts of anxiety and stress and quite frankly, it’s not worth it. My strategy has always been to take care of my marriage first, set the example for my children, and work as a team with my husband for the children.
Working as a team is something you will have to figure out on your own. For us, this is what it looks like:
I am a stay at home mom. I am so blessed to get to be home with my girl every single day. When my husband comes home from work, my daughter is usually napping. I give him a kiss, ask about his day, and have some adult conversation. Then we allow time for him to decompress, relax, and unwind for a bit. If my daughter decides not to nap or is awake at this time, I keep her in her room while we have a little bit of time together. In order for us to be our best selves for her, we first need to have quality time together. We need to reconnect daily and have this type of intimacy. I believe this is vitally important for all marriages.
Together we tackle the discipline and teaching moments with our daughter. We decided before we had her that we were going to parent a specific way and have stuck to that over the past two years. This is something else that unites my husband and me.
I don’t really believe that you have to figure out which is more important and which should you focus on more. They both have moments that are going to take your full attention, and there will be times when half attention is given to each at the same time. (High five to all the awesome multi-taskers out there!) What I believe is most important is making sure to focus on the health of your marriage and then the health of your relationship with your children. Each are so vital to have a happy, healthy life.
Remember also that there will be times that you make mistakes. It happens! Don’t get so down on yourself. If you are in a stage right now where priorities are off or you feel like you’re screwing everything up, take a moment for yourself and reflect. Breath. Decide that you can take steps to make your situation better and then DO it! Just because today looks one way it doesn’t mean tomorrow and the next have to look the same. It is possible to live happily and cohesively with your husband and children.
Have a wonderful day!